My better late then never 2013 xmas list

So lately I'm finding the small things I used to enjoy doing all over again before I rearranged my lil world about a year ago and I remembered today that I still have this blog and I actually enjoy doing this lil fantasy Christmas list. It's fun and never would I expect anyone to get me any of this shit, but it's nice to dream and do lil therapeutic things for myself like this these days. BTW I will be blogging more often so please follow.

these will make my ass sprint!

I will try my darndest to be as cute as she is tho!

you know I live for furnitore

love this woody allen portrait

 need these nnikes in my life!

 sushi! always a great gift

 yes buy me a burrito

love this art piece

I need a cutting board

A blind walk in the park: attn friends

I think my biggest regret in life will be if I do not get an opportunity to show my work in another country preferably somewhere in Europe or Mexico before my 30th birthday I have 8 months to do this, only I can make this happen I've created all these Lil opportunities I've had over the years from being published in I-D magazine to showing wrk in New York/ manhattan only by a by blind walk in the park. I don't know of I have the drive and push to search out an opportunity again but I will try & if anyone has any connections to any galleries abroad info would be greatly appreciated.

Highs and the dumps

I had a great great day x's 25 today but I start thinking about the weight I've lost & my relationship here at home. I'm a Lil sad about the fact that I keep losing weight & yes I've curbed my eating somewhat as far as carbs & what not but I know I'm losing weight mostly cuz I'm sick (diabetes) that takes all the joy away. I don't even know why I'm writing this cuz I'm supposed to turn this in to a .com so it's supposed to just be about my work and not this type of BS but fuk it. #ventvomit I have lots of insecurities regarding my relationship but my fears are really out of my control it's funny it takes the smallest shit to set my dumbass off into a tornado of anxiety & stress. Well you know men ain't trying to hear that kind of naggy annoying shit. As it is they don't want to b botherd with the most minuet topics/tasks/conversations. I'll just say this out of all honesty, as women we need romantic partners not just a BFF. I havnt been feeling myself lately so that may have alot to do with things but regardless being lazy Is not okay (on both ends). I miss being 19 with all drive and energy.

Forever

It's so sad when you're ready to hop on the forever train but the ride is already ending. How misinformed we are about ourselves sometimes, how unaware of our personality. Never the less I wish my guardian angel would hit the mute button sometimes when it comes to my anxiety. Regarding alot of episodes that have occurred In my life, I take a lot sometimes. I've been picked apart and left detached. Even though these people try to break me, it's not me I'm worried about it's my mouth that I pray to stay shut and not allow raw opinions to flood out and drown ones confidence. I don't forget the way they try to serve me truths and harsh doses of word lashings. I just continue to breath and enjoy the parts of my day that I can.

Anytime anyplace

Interesting photos can be taken anywhere u see an interesting avenue. With any type of camera and any person there is an Opportunity to take a staple image.

Those People

Those people that have healthy balance in their lives. Who are those well rounded people and how do they do it? Why can't I do it? I'm overboard, overdone, over the top. They have a greater success than I ever will and it almost makes me feel as though I should be jealous, but being jealous is so not me. I think it's pointless and irrational. Instead I'll focus on fashion.

Foodlandia

OMGeezy today was great! Thrift storing, pier one window shopping (cause that store is far too posh for me) but the one thing that was not a good move was eating all u can eat sushi (8rolls) and then carls jrs 4hrs later! (3"low carb" burgers sure one of them was turkey but fml why must I continue to be such a classic fat ass! Omg and mind you this dinner happened after watching the 600lb mom documentary. I must have a fukeen death wish. To make matters more pathetic, I lied to my bf about sushi cause we always go together that shit is like fat people infidelity. I'm going to hell or the hospital if I keep this fat girl shit up.