What is life

 Finding myself to be that angry person underneath it all once again is quite disturbing. I thought that I was passed that part of my life I thought that I was more peaceful than that I thought that I had moved on I had a grown  I had learned I was enlightened. What a bunch of bullshit to tell myself there are many things that I excepted understand that I cannot change  about myself but being angry is not one of them I refuse to except that I think I’ll fight to learn a different way to be until the day I die that is my fatal flaw and I am aware of that but sometimes it gets so difficult because one must not subject others to that part of themselves. Finding new ways to cope finding healthy ways to be  Learning healthy new habits gaining healthy relationships that is lifes challenge and I’m here for it but there’s always this part of summer where I end up alone and it’s for the best it’s no one else’s fault but my own but I refuse to subject others to the Darkside of me which is why I’m just that only me no children no partner no one that has to be in my presence subjected to me .  I think within a whole year what I have failed to realize is that this is the gift learning to be with just me without freaking out not crying and join me the good the bad the ugly the happy the dark the bad habits the positive ways all of it.